who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?

oxford comma ~ vampire weekend

& the video

"why would you speak to me that way,

especially when i always said that i haven't got the words for you?

all your diction dripping with disdain,

through the pain,

i always tell the truth."

having a shit day, no other way of describing it.

work is killing me, the hours and the expectations, are completely burning me out.
my "vacation day" yesterday ended up with me working from home until after one am, and this is not some exception to the rule.when an hour of television feels like a luxury there is a problem. i miss having a life.

i remember when all-nighters meant something fun was going on.

i have so much caffeine in my system that my hands are shaking, and have had a little over an hour's sleep.

*grumble*

anyhow, this song is an attempt to lift my spirits.

it is near impossible to sulk while listening to vampire weekend.

you're weak but not giving in

keep art alive; art by lilly piri

“and sometimes when you’re on
you’re really fucking on
and your friends they sing along
and they love you
but the lows are so extreme
that the good seems fucking cheap
and it teases you for weeks in its absence
but you’ll fight and you’ll make it through
you’ll fake it if you have to
and you’ll show up for work with a smile
and you’ll be better
you’ll be smarter
more grown up and a better daughter
or son
and a real good friend
and you’ll be awake
you’ll be alert
you’ll be positive though it hurts
and you’ll laugh and embrace all of your friends
and you’ll be a real good listener
you’ll be honest
you’ll be brave
you’ll be handsome and you’ll be beautiful
you’ll be happy.”

the next few weeks are going to drain me of everything, i fear. these are the days where music (and copious amounts of coffee) are what get me through, as work will act as a pack of zombies eating my brain for sustenance and pleasure.

i have this silly fear that has been with me since i was a child, and it echoes in the back of my mind sometimes when the shadows of adolescent insecurity rear their ugly head and grab a hold of me. it is that old saying (who says these things really?) that goes out of sight, out of mind, and sometimes it taps on my fears that if i don’t participate, if i don’t play along, if i don’t pick up the phone/send the email/say the first hello that i will disappear. or, if not forgotten, i will be misunderstood. and, i think it is not just me who feels this, i think sometimes we all do.

so, in an attempt to ease the minds of those i care about, or to ease my own worry, i am here. i do care, probably more than you realize. and, work is going to kill me until christmas. i will try to keep up, i will try to check in, i will try to keep writing (i sort of lose it when i don’t write). but, if i seem less than usual it is fleeting, and i will be back soon enough.

and, although i don’t buy into such things as resolutions, i do love fresh starts and i am holding out hope that this coming year will be better for all of us.

*much love*

a better son/daughter ~ rilo kiley