i suppose that i'll just have to wait and see

daisy ~ ben lee

daisy (lyrics)

i didn't see it coming
i just thought that you were friendly
but here we are passionately embraced

i suppose it's kind of funny
but it's also kind of scary
that your kiss brought back a feeling i'd erased

when you said that you were lonely
and i said i thought you would be
then you took me to a darker holy place

then i said i liked to kiss you
and you said you loved to kiss me
then kissed the sweetest kiss i'll ever taste

'cos i've known you for an hour
but you're growing like a flower in me

i've known you for a lifetime
or we're soul mates from a past life
daisy

it's all mixed with indecision
and a painful soulful spilling
of everything i've ever felt or known

and you know that they're all looking
so you kiss me even harder
then hold me and i just feel right at home

your touch is soft and tender
so i raise my flag surrender
then say "i feel you staring at my soul"

and it makes them all feel awkward
but our time here's more important
so we sink into our closed eyed painful hole

i'm scared of what will happen
so i kiss you, say i'll call you
then i tell you so much i don't understand

then you kiss me with an answer
and my question seems invalid
and i go to bed with daisies in my hand

i call you there's no answer
but i know i have to see you
so i call and call and call and call again

but you never get my message
or you choose not to return it
because you shouldn't, needn't, wouldn't or just can't

i'm lonely and i love you
for the moment that is what's true in me
i've known you now forever
joined at the soul together
daisy

there'll be no way to avoid you
when i see you in the movies
and i realize right now you're not here with me

if i'll see you in my lifetime
if again I'll feel you kiss me
i suppose that i'll just have to wait and see

but for now i'll just be grateful
to be touched by such an angel
and put it down as life experience

that my muse is just a daisy
with the most beautiful nature
will one day fall back in my flower bed

and i know you said you love me
and that's the only memory left for me
'cos i need you more than ever
joined at the soul together
daisy

my very favorite love song, and not just because daisy has been a nickname of mine since i was a little girl, or because i have a daisy tattoo, or even because i relate to the love story in the song. well, i'm sure that is all part of it, but even if all that wasn't the case, it just is quite possibly my favorite love song.

and i'm tired of so much wanting

ache for you ~ ben lee

"there's no rhyme and there's no reason,
you're the secret in the back of my skull.
there's no logic, so please believe me.
our love's confusing,
but it never gets dull."

a week ago i was standing in the studio store at the WB, waiting for a friend to go and grab coffee from starbucks. on the right, as you first walk in, is a gilmore girls display. i often keep walking right by as i often get a big case of the "i wants" when i stand too close. they have this gigantic coffee cup that says "luke please please please" on it that i have wanted ever since i first spied it. a quote from the very first moments, of the very first episode - the first time you witness the chemistry between luke and lorelei.

over the years of watching, and loving, the show i went back and forth on my feelings for the pair. i always held a soft spot for christopher, and what they had from their youth that still seemed to carry so strongly into their implied present. but, there is something about the two of them, of luke and lorelei, that pulls at my fictional loving heartstrings.

and this song. well, i've always had quite the love for ben lee's songs, haven't i?

daisy

"and she doesn't understand," he said. "she used to be able to understand. we'd sit for hours -"

he broke off and began to walk up and down a desolate path of fruit rinds and discarded favors and crushed flowers.

"i wouldn't ask too much of her,"

i ventured. "you can't repeat the past."

"can't repeat the past?" he cried incredulously. "why of course you can!"

he looked around him wildly, as if the past were lurking here in the shadow of his house, just out of reach of his hand.

"i'm going to fix everything just the way it was before," he said, nodding determinedly. "she'll see."

he talked a lot about the past, and i gathered that he wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving daisy. his life had been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place and go over it all slowly, he could find out what that thing was......

one autumn night, five years before, they had been walking down the street when the leaves were falling, and they came to a place where there were no trees and the sidewalk was white with moonlight. they stopped here and turned toward each other. now it was a cool night with that mysterious excitement in it which comes at the two changes of the year. the quiet lights in the houses were humming out into the darkness and there was a stir and bustle among the stars. out of the corner of his eye gatsby saw that the blocks of the sidewalks formed a ladder and mounted to a secret place above the trees - he could climb to it, if he climbed alone, and once there he could suck on the pap of life, gulp down the incomparable milk of wonder.

his heart beat faster and faster as daisy's white face came up to his own. he knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of god. so he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. then he kissed her. at his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete.

through all he said, even through his appalling sentimentality, i was reminded of something - an elusive rhythm, a fragment of lost words, that i had heard somewhere a long time ago. for a moment a phrase tried to shape in my mouth and my lips parted like a dumb man's, as though there was more struggling upon them than a wisp of startled air. but they made no sound, and what i had almost remembered was uncommunicable forever.

the great gatsby, f. scott fitzgerald

my muse is just a daisy

we traded mixed tapes between classes

yours wrapped up in red crinkled paper

mine with a cut-out picture from a magazine

filled with songs that collided into adolescent kisses

clumsy and sugarcane cursed at with penned devotion

you know i hid my confessions in the contents of a song

with hopes tied in a bunny-ear bow that you would notice

sitting up late in my bedroom tracing the way your name fit with mine

cursive curly looped letters that seemed a perfect refrain

that i sang along as i tore apart wild run daisies

petal by petal

you love me you

you love me not

you must know how much i love you

(written by me)

daisy ~ ben lee