I'm spinning on a dime

"on your third broken window,
with your hair full of glass,
saw your clothes in the hallway,
just a curtain on your back.
i laugh.

are there heart strings connected,
to the wings you've got slapped on your back?
better climb in the window cause,
i'm closing the door."

happy birthday, bree.

i'm wishing and hoping this is the best year in your life, so far.
wish i was there to celebrate with you.

all the stars explode tonight

"oceans of angels,
oceans of stars;
down by the sea,
is where you drown your scars."

happy birthday, courtney.

thank you for the music and for your spirit. thank you for the hope of I, and for one of my favorite los angeles songs.

veronica

the girl with the artist's touch, the strong sense of self, emotional and so beautiful, my veronica turned six today. she shares her birthday with my best friend of 27 years, and is the only one of my children born outside of california. she is so different from me, from how i was at her age, and for that i am so grateful. she teaches me so many things. she shows me a way of seeing the world that i do not always see, keeps me in-touch with the way nature plays a part in the human condition, and is ever challenging me with her questions and queries on how the world works, and why.

these last few weeks i have noticed the changes that are transpiring in her, the leaps of maturity, the molding of self and personality that are forming. her love of classical and hip-hop music, her imagination, her creative expression, her sense of humor, and her interest in asian culture and memory/logic solving games. she is so bright and amazing to know, and i am quite lucky to know her.

happy sixth year in your life, princess froggy v-rock veronica. i love you.

polka dots fill my eyes

"what you gonna do katie?
you're a sweet, sweet girl,
but it's a cruel, cruel world,
a cruel, cruel world."

happy birthday, kate. and a very happy first day in the next new year of your life. paint brushes and magic wands, pixie dust and healing potions, and all the hope in the universe i wish to you. i hope this is your best year yet. you can make this year anything you want it to be. i believe in you, always always always.

i love you always.

the next life

keep art alive; art by matthew woodson

"look, the world's going to turn either way.

wake up and be a part of it."
adam duritz

to me, one's birthday is your own personal new year's day. it is a start of a new year in your life, a reminder of being alive, being a part of this life, a recollection of all your memories you've collected in this world. i tend to get contemplative when my birthday nears, not in that fear and dread of getting older, but more in the what have i done and what do i want to do kind of way.

recently i was hit with this moment of clarity which has yet to leave me completely. instead it has stuck somewhere beneath my skin, an internal tattoo, reminding me of a personal truth that i refuse to ignore. it was simply this: i have a lot i want to do in this life so i better take care of myself - body, heart, mind, soul - because i intend on sticking around for a good long time.

call it a resolution, though i do loathe the expectation of failure that seems to attach itself to "resolutions". or better yet, just call it a path i would like to take. it is not change exactly, or even redirection, if anything it is direction. places and spaces, feelings and desires, none of them new...just...i think i have spent far too much time focused on drama, other people's emotions, perceived expectations (that were possibly not true), and insecurities that put up ugly obstacles full of words like "can't", "won't", "never", "impossible" and "regret".

not everything works the first time around, but there is more to life then clinging to mistakes, or false hopes. so, happy birthday to me, as silly (and possibly narcissistic) as that sounds. i have a lot of living left to do.

"see you in your next life when we'll fly away for good."

the next life ~ suede

and you can tell everybody this is your song

your song ~ elton john

click for video

if i was a sculptor,

but then again, no;

or, a man who makes potions,

in a travelling show.

i know it's not much,

but it's the best i can do;

my gift is my song,

and this one's for you."

happy birthday.

may you find your bliss and have love in your life,

always.