like sisters

(lyrics)
and through the life force and there goes her friend
on her nishiki
it's out of time
and through the portal they can make amends

hey would you say whatever
we're blanket friends
can't stop what's coming
can't stop what's on its way

and through the walls they made their mudpies
I've got your mind i said
she said i've your voice
i said you don't need my voice, girl
you have your own
but you never thought it was enough of

so they went years and years
like sisters blanket girls
always there through that and this
there's nothing we cannot ever fix, i said

can't stop what's coming
can't stop what's on its way

bells and footfalls and soldiers and dolls
brothers and lovers she and i were
now she seems to be sand under his shoes
there's nothing i can do

can't stop what's coming
can't stop what's on its way

and now i speak to you
are you in there
you have her face and her eyes
but you are not her
and we go at each other like blank ettes
who can't find their thread and their bare

can't stop loving
can't stop what is on its way
and I see it coming
and it's on its way

***

she came next, or not too long after. it tooks months to break-through to me. i was ice. solid. fierce. frozen. she told me once they thought i was ill. always hidden away in the house. pale. ghostly. she brought colour with her. stringy hair. skinned knees. fearless. i wanted to circle around her. breathe her in. take some of that strength into me. i did. we weaved our worlds together. slowly. naturally. these were the roots of the longest bond. so many things to come. life. death. shards of innocence thrown into the sky. our hands always reaching in.

i miss her. how can i not? she was part of the history of me. and i, to her. childhood bonds that lasted through so many somethings. and we drifted together. in and out of disrepair. we've seen each other at our best, our worst. and their are secrets she holds of mine, deep beneath her skin. i left them with her, even as a child. and no one knows the real life we led before, except us. silences we shared, without having to explain. i know she has let me down. left me when i felt i was changing. and she is changing. and here we are mothers. and nearly sisters, and yet everything has been severed. we always said we'd keep connected. i'm not even sure what broke the chain, all i know is this kind of pain is different than any i have felt before.