shake it off

certain things i love, spend my time
i guess i'll have to unhook those hooks

this woman literally
felt she had a hook in her head

rip it up
live it down
make it big
keep it clean
shake it off
take him off
take it off
do him good
keep it up
shake it off

he's a fucking drag, but if you don't then you watch him go
if you can you see it home, you be strong
and when you die it's a shame
but you old life stays the same

she has a hook in her head

i saw this lady close her eyes
the bottle slipped between her fingers
and slid along the aisle

if i were a man i'd have a gun, but i'm so bone tired
i'm so bone tired, i'm old...

i watch the snow make slow time
i watch the snow cover up the bottle
so i can slip between

i will read the label from underneath
i wear the circle in my sleep

***

backspace. i almost forgot you. skipped right over a moment. and, maybe i want to, i don't know. it was unexpected. all of it. even the start, meeting you. i was supposed to be with an old friend. singing along with hands held. but, he'd gone off and left me for a simple flirtation. i was bitter. hurt. but refused to mold into my bedroom walls. so i was there and so were you. john taylor hat, the deepest brown eyes i've ever seen, still, even now. that cocky laughter and well read wit. intelligence is my weakness, and you were bleeding it all over me that night. and, i shook.

i thought i'd never see you again, though you took my number. i waited for the ringing, but the days faded into weeks, and i let you slip my mind. then you appeared again. we had the most awkward first date ever. the stuff they warn you about in cheesy magazines. you were testing me, even then, thought i didn't see it that way. the only moment of connection was the lingering embrace on my porch, then you were gone. i stood there conflicted; touched, but empty. you left me wanting more. i suppose you knew that, guess that was your plan from the start. and then more weeks floated by, with the echoing silence of no ringing.

strange to have this in my mind again. i'd almost forgot this piece of my life. and now, this almost-forgotten is taking up more and more words. i realized today i've rarely written about him, about that time, about the way it all felt to me. so, i suppose i have a lot to put down. to take out, to examine, to shed. funny how the past can come up on you like that. a chorus, a refrain, remember and rewind.

i wouldn't want any of it now. i like it back there. in it's past. but, there is so much i didn't realize i felt about it, and the music reminds me to not forget it all.