i may be great tomorrow, but hopeless yesterday

don't get me wrong ~ the pretenders
don't get me wrong ~ lily allen (cover)

"don't get me wrong,
if i'm looking kind of dazzled;
i see neon lights,
whenever you walk by."

"do i dazzle you?" ~ e. cullen
"frequently." ~ b. swan

i love synchronicity. those moments when you are experiencing something so strongly, or taking something in deeply, and suddenly you are surrounded by reminders, coincidences, and mirrored reflections of your inner make-up.

i love cover songs. the new dip into something familiar, and how you can hear the unique something that is added when a new voice adds something to an existing piece of art. in a way it is similar to writing with a certain song, or collection of songs, playing in the background. you take from it, you sew it into the lines and phrases, and you create a new representation.

all of it, is it not just shared experiences? the collective unconscious taking a turn in the playground of energy, lyrical refrain, and magic - who could not fall for that?

september mix (part one)

You Scream Give Me What I've Always Missed: A September Mix (Part One)

All In My Mind ~ Love & Rockets
Black Cat ~ Ladytron
23 ~ Blonde Redhead
Metal Heart ~ Cat Power
Your Ex-Lover Is Dead ~ Stars
Pioneer To The Falls ~ Interpol
I'm On Fire ~ Bat For Lashes
You Don't Own Me ~ Lesley Gore
Starlite Diner ~ Ryan Adams
You Don't Know Me ~ Ben Folds & Regina Spektor
Tonight I Have To Leave It ~ The Shout Out Louds
Black Lexus ~ Joseph Arthur
You're Lost Little Girl ~ Siouxsie & The Banshees
Wild Horses ~ The Rolling Stones
Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken ~ Camera Obscura
Electric Bird ~ Sia
7/4 (Shoreline) ~ Broken Social Scene

September (one) Mix Zipped

oh who would ever want to be king?

viva la vida ~ coldplay

today's song is for julia, who started her junior year of high school today, but whose first day was not very stellar, nor sparkly. perhaps this song will make you smile, and feel a wee bit better.

i love you.

it used to be so easy

the last day of summer ~ the cure

"all that i have,
all that i hold,
all that is wrong.
all that i feel for, or trust in, or love,
all that is gone.

it used to be so easy,
i never even tried.
yeah, it used to be so easy."

i know this is not the true last day of summer, but with the end of a long weekend for most of the people i know, and the girls heading back to school tomorrow, it certainly feels like it. this song captures those feelings to me, the last gasps of late mornings and bits of careless abandon that the perception of summer provides, watching it drift away like clouds clearing the midday skies.

it isn't the same once you are out of school. the transition from summer to fall is more about the passing of time, or fashion choices, or what is playing on the television, and the the expectation of cooler weather. it isn't the bittersweet farewell to freedoms that you feel as a child.

but, no matter what, it is near escapable not to catch some of that feeling. just walking around the local grocery, or picking up a newspaper, you cannot escape the sights of shiny new binders, pen and pencil sets, and sweater-weather sales. in all of it there is that frenzied excitement as so many of us stand at the cusp of another year.

i see it in my children's eyes. the way they flicker with nervous energy, the coming together of enthusiasm and dread. fresh starts are made of this, i suppose. and all of it is beautiful, formidable and vividly real. i think part of my love for new starts hold my breath a little as this change is ready to begin; part of me is holding my breath.

it used to be so easy.

stuff that life is made of

"the not-knowings, not-understandings, and not-endings are part of the mystery of life, the things that keep us all guessing."

ghosts of block island ~ fran migliaccio

will you feel better

better (radio cut, alternate video) ~ regina spektor
better ~ regina spektor

"born like sisters to this world,
in a town where blood ties are only blood.
if you never say your name out loud to anyone,
they can never ever call you by it.

if i kiss you where it's sore,
if i kiss you where it's sore,
will you feel better, better, better?
will you feel anything at all?"

i adore regina. her songs are made of that stuff that lies between the dark and the sweet, the heartbreaking and the falling in love, the optimism and the jaded. she sings like she's lived in this world as a real girl, with skinned knees and a hopeful heart. her songs are the kind that i want to play over and over again, sing-a-long loudly to, and slip into music mixes that i make for people.

doesn't it make you feel better?

this is my four leaf clover

head over heels ~ tears for fears (video, donnie darko)
head over heels ~ tears for fears

kate and i used to spend any extra money we had, or any holiday money, at record stores. we had a system, we never bought the same albums (though I suppose there may have been an exception here and there), because in many ways the collection we had as individuals were shared between us. we would carry our stacks home and invariably go to one or the other's houses, and make copies of each other's.

i suppose it was how we were with clothing and fashion. we never had much money, but we knew how to make the most of it, and we knew how to blend what we did have with each other. and yet, even though we shared so much (and as close as we've always been as friends) we always managed to still be our own person, or look like unique selves. even our music collections, and the records we carried home, were individual to our tastes and sensibilities.

this album, songs from the big chair, was one in her collection. i can vividly remember sitting on her bedroom floor, with my back leaned up against her bed, holding the album in my hands as we listened to it. this was the song i fell in love with.

the video, in the library, reminded me of lunches when a few of us at my high school would hide out in the back corner of our much smaller library. we'd sit up against the stacks of world books and encyclopedias, filling out slam books or paging through magazines. tom in his green sweater, the one i always remember him in, lisa sketching eyes and band names on the backs of her notebooks, or the sides of her shoes. none of us wanted to go back to the hallways, or into another classroom - but we were too afraid to leave.

sometimes it seems so long ago, and other times, it seems like just weeks passed from then until now. music brings those kinds of memories right back.

(i love how this song was used in donnie darko, it just fit - so perfectly)

to know me as hardly golden

the funeral ~ band of horses (video, live on david letterman)
the funeral ~ band of horses

"i'm coming up only to hold you under,
i'm coming up only to show you wrong;
and to know you is hard and we wonder,
to know you all wrong, we were."

ever have on of those songs that you've heard occasionally, or even often, but only in the background kind of way? what i mean is, you've heard it, you recognize it, you might even be able to name the band (or recall it when someone says "oh this? this is...", as you nod in recognition). but, you never really heard the song; it never truly made an impact.

and then one day you are riding in a car and the song comes on. perhaps your senses are more alert, or maybe you are just open enough where everything around you - a story being told, words said (or not said), the shapes of buildings you pass, the shadows cast in the mid-day sun, and the song that is streaming through the speakers. for whatever reason, on this day you actually hear it.

this exchange, it forges a connection, and the song becomes part of the moment, and the moment becomes part of the song. without warning, or provocation, the music is sewn into your memories. it is a little bit like falling in love.

this song should be played loudly, while driving aimlessly, in the middle of a hot afternoon - very loudly - at least once.

sleepyhead where did you go

altogether ~ slowdive

shoegaze, dream pop, space rock, ambient; these are the terms that come up when the band slowdive is talked, or written about. i push replay on my music player and listen again, trying to see all those descriptions in the sounds. for me what i hear and feel is ethereal, sensual, and nocturnal. i close my eyes and imagine a dark room lit only by the twinkle-flicker of candles, the slight scent of vanilla in the air (from the candles maybe, or a stick of incense). the music tastes like a rich red wine, the kind that you drink slowly, the feeling of it trickling down your throat warming, and slightly hypnotic - like this song, like this sound.

to me it matters more how the music feels to me, then what bucket i can drop the sound into. i'm not very keen on labels, not in my life, not in music, not in anything really. even with films, my favorites are usually in some grey area that exists between the genre categories. perhaps my aversion to labels is why i struggle with writing proper music reviews (or any other type of review). i turn the music to inward, i think, and then the only things i can think to say, or write, are about my experience with the music - or what it brings out for me; memories, images, dreams. i suppose that makes my connection with music very self-indulgent, but it is what it is; the connection makes me happy.

this song, it soothes me.

i know i'm not forgiven

this night ~ black lab

this song sounds like the way the middle of the night feels, when you are sleepless, weighted down with some kind of sorrow. there is that moment, within the context of grief, when you realize that something is over; but you are still here, you are the one left standing (or staggering). sometimes in that middle of the night desperation we play tricks on our mind, and our heart, to get through it.

sometimes it is a scrolling list, just inside our half-closed eyelids, that reminds us of what we did wrong, and what we did right. we convince ourselves that we did our best, that we were brave to try at all. and, of course, we see the tell-tale slashes of where we think we failed.

all those conversations we play in our heads, the things we should have said. i know i'm always so much clever hours later, when i replay scenarios - it is there that i am witty, unforgettable, and wise.

also, this part of the song, something about it recalls sinatra's infamous my way. and, when i press repeat, and listen again, i also hear sid vicious' cover, and the way i kept playing that version over and over when i was nineteen.

at first listen i also thought this song feels so cinematic, so dramatic, so made to be part of a film's soundtrack. though, looking through youtube it seems it was used for promotional spots for a season of the shield.