it used to be so easy

the last day of summer ~ the cure

"all that i have,
all that i hold,
all that is wrong.
all that i feel for, or trust in, or love,
all that is gone.

it used to be so easy,
i never even tried.
yeah, it used to be so easy."

i know this is not the true last day of summer, but with the end of a long weekend for most of the people i know, and the girls heading back to school tomorrow, it certainly feels like it. this song captures those feelings to me, the last gasps of late mornings and bits of careless abandon that the perception of summer provides, watching it drift away like clouds clearing the midday skies.

it isn't the same once you are out of school. the transition from summer to fall is more about the passing of time, or fashion choices, or what is playing on the television, and the the expectation of cooler weather. it isn't the bittersweet farewell to freedoms that you feel as a child.

but, no matter what, it is near escapable not to catch some of that feeling. just walking around the local grocery, or picking up a newspaper, you cannot escape the sights of shiny new binders, pen and pencil sets, and sweater-weather sales. in all of it there is that frenzied excitement as so many of us stand at the cusp of another year.

i see it in my children's eyes. the way they flicker with nervous energy, the coming together of enthusiasm and dread. fresh starts are made of this, i suppose. and all of it is beautiful, formidable and vividly real. i think part of my love for new starts hold my breath a little as this change is ready to begin; part of me is holding my breath.

it used to be so easy.