you're one with echoes of conversation

a good start ~ maria taylor

"it was a long, dark, sleepy morning walk.
you fell down, case and point.
it was a good start.
it was a good start.

it's a shame now, baby, you can't see yourself,
and everything you're running from.
and it's the same world, honey, that has brought you down,
as the one that's gonna pick you up.

and it's a shame now, baby, you can't separate yourself,
from where you stood.
and it's the same world, honey, that made you feel so bad,
as the one that makes you feel so good.
feel so good."

there are images that float through the ether when i let my eyes flutter shut, as i try to let myself let go. i've never been comfortable with silence, and i've not very good with relaxing. the tension that knots itself just under my skin is somedays all-encompassing, and even though i try to push through, mask over the pain, and be a part of the collective expectation - well, it is my insides that are often brittle and cracking; falling slowly apart.

this year has been full of the blues, and i claw at the color scheme, trying to shake myself up in the process. i tear at the blindfolds and the bandages, try not to hide from my own thoughts and fears. isn't it said that wounds heal quicker when the air hits, but baby, it sure will sting.

i'm holding out for the good stuff. i'm wishing on stars. and most of those wishes, well they are to just believe in the same world that breaks hearts, and opens doors.