i don't know what to believe in

never is a promise ~ fiona apple

"you'll never see the courage i know,
it's colors richness won't appear within your view.
i'll never glow - the way that you glow,
your presence dominates the judgements made on you.

but, as the scenery grows, i see in different lights,
the shades and shadows undulate in my perception.
my feelings swell and stretch; i see from greater heights,
i understand what i am still too proud to mention - to you.

you'll say you understand, but you don't understand,
you'll say you'd never give up seeing eye to eye,
but never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie.

you'll never touch - these things that i hold,
the skin of my emotions lies beneath my own.
you'll never feel the heat of this soul,
my fever burns me deeper than i've ever shown - to you.

you'll say, don't fear your dreams, it's easier than it seems.
you'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high.
but, never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie.

you'll never live the life that i live,
i'll never live the life that wakes me in the night.
you'll never hear the message i give,
you'll say it looks as though i might give up this fight.

but, as the scenery grows, i see in different lights,
the shades and shadows undulate in my perception.
my feelings swell and stretch, i see from greater heights,
i realize what i am now too smart to mention - to you.

you'll say you understand, you'll never understand,
i'll say i'll never wake up knowing how or why.
i don't know what to believe in, you don't know who i am,
you'll say i need appeasing when i start to cry.

but, never is a promise,
and i'll never need a lie."