i love that moment when a song hits you, gets you, and leaves you in a state of near dizziness. i know i rely too heavily on music to communicate with. i know that deep down there is this hole that only music fills, a c(h)ord that only a lyrical refrain can move in me. perhaps music is this life's addiction, but i know that it is the place in which i take breath, where i let my emotions dance around in, and where i seek and find understanding.
when no one else seems to understand my heart, music does.
today it is john lennon's ode to a healthy disconnect, a new perspective, and a simplicity that can be found in the details and motions of life; at least that is what i take from it. it seems to fit right in with my refusal to become part of the drama that is trying to pull me in, and my choice to see the truth in all of it, and keep my self-respect in the process.
in my yesterdays i would have taken this as being all about me - my failings, my missteps, my lack of anything and everthing. i would have been sucked into all of it, and in the spin and masked intentions i would have lost myself, and most likely people i do not want to lose.
i don't mind the spin of the merry-go-round as long as i'm the one spinning it. most days, though, i'd rather take a trip down the slide, or try to touch the stars with my toes while swinging to the sky. or, on days like today, i'd rather lie in the grass and just let it all go.
thanks, mr. lennon, for saying it bettter than i could.
"i'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
i really love to watch them roll
no longer riding on the merry-go-round
i just had to let it go."
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