Tuesday, January 29, 2008

turning thistledown laughter

keep art alive; art by kelly haigh

"when the bow broke, in pieces we fell.
we would scream and shout,
almost anything,
but the point is we fell dear.

there will be no more wishlessness,
there may be some doubt,
no new day without;
best that we say farewell here."

this year, i still cannot seem to get a real feeling for it. there has been a lot of sadness and loss around me lately. is it because of the age i am at, or is it something more? that said, i feel as if i am finally getting a hold of who i am, and finding that i am tired of people being so transient in my life. coming and going as if i am just a stop gap, or some place to only temporarily land.

perhaps it is my ever-battle with insecurity, but it always hurts a bit to realize that some of the people you love think poorly of you, and of your choices. yet, at the same time, i find myself growing into myself to a point where i do not think i care anymore if i am well-liked, or understood.

i get me, i get what i like and don't like, and most days that is good enough for me.

this song, it always reminds me of driving to san francisco.


aerolls said...

First off, L, I love this song. One of the most underrated of all the Penn's.

Secondly, you don't have to answer to anyone but you. If people don't get you, that's their problem.

The only thing that matters is how you feel about yr self. Can you look in the mirror, smile and say, yes I am true to myself?

I've made mistakes in my life. Lots of them. What ever choices we made along the way, it's the life and the path we are on now that matters. Everything else is prologue.

You have the talent, the writer's voice, an amazing family and a future full of success in the horizon. It may take a while but the journey is what matters.

Enjoy the journey, with all the bumps, u-turns and dead ends. I say crank up the music, roll down the window and the let the wind caress yr face and enjoy the drive.

lucy said...

i love the entire album, but this song is my favorite on it. there is a certain time in my life, and a road trip with julia asleep in the back of the car, driving up the coast to san francisco; this song always reminds me of it.

thanks for the rest of what you wrote. trust me, this was not a melancholic post; it was actually wrote out of a place of strength. in the words of mr. barat, it was a very fuck em sentiment. i am actually learning to like myself quite a bit.

this year, a few people close to me have lost people. so much death in a few weeks time. so, it tints the month a little, stains it in sadness. yet, at the same time, i am sorting through my own rubble and rust, and underneath it all i am finding things.

and, even on the bad days, i have music. there isn't much in this world better than that (except perhaps my kids).

i like that, btw. "everything else is prologue"

and yeah, i feel pretty true to myself.

thanks, A. keep the music cranked up for you, too.